Miracle Minded Melissa 

Old tapes?

Not the old cassette tapes that we recorded our favorite tunes on as kids. The old thoughts and memories that are filed away in the cellar of our mind. Also, the “old tapes” that play inside our mind 24/7/365. Our “old tapes” have three personalities of the "inner voice," "the parent,” “the inner child,” and, “the adult.” There is "the inner critic” and "the Inner Advisor,” too, but also another I have realized is "the inner distracter.”

I had a superb upbringing with parents who loved and supported me, so when the inner parent appears, it is to remind me to be balanced within; to be disciplined and responsible with my choices. My inner parent is kind, loving, patient, tolerant, honest, genuine, and fun. My inner parent gives me feedback to improve myself, which is helpful on my journey. My inner child has been loved her whole life. I play with my inner child every day.

Sometimes my inner child voice appears when I am bored. When I was young, I would over-indulge in snacks between meals because I was bored after school. I notice as an adult, my inner child voice would appear, and I would crave snack foods. My inner parent voice shows up and gently reminds my inner child that maybe I could choose a healthier snack, drink some water, or do something active. The “Inner Parent Voice” asks the question, “Are you hungry, or are you bored?” Then I can stop and choose the option that is in the Highest Good for me.

I have always known about my “Inner Advisor.” I know I was born knowing, but my Dear Mother reminded me at a very young age (before I could speak) that we have a Higher Power and an Inner Voice that will divinely guide me, and to listen to It as It will take me by the hand and guide me on my purposeful path. She called it “The Voice,” and I resonated with that term as well. To me, the Higher Power “voice” is God – Spirit - Divine Presence – Harmonic Love - Oneness…

My "God-Voice” is my Inner Advisor, my intuition, my GPS in this life. In addition to my wonderful mother’s guidance as a young child, I was also influenced by Louise L. Hay’s meditations and songs of affirmation. Louise Hay taught me to forgive and how to release thoughts and feelings so that I do not grow up with destructive “old tapes” and “buttons” to be pushed as an adolescent, teen, or adult.

I noticed that I have an “inner distracter” instead of an "inner critic." I don’t have a mean, bully voice, criticizing me - ever. The "inner distracter," however, will drop a memory in my consciousness, and I run with it. I end up spending time and energy on memories and thoughts that currently do not matter. I will hear a song or smell a fragrance, and the "inner distracter" will take me down the rabbit hole of memory lane.

I had an experience with the "inner distracter" during a recent graduate-level course. My professor asked us to go back, and think about our old high school boyfriend or girlfriend. “To imagine that someone else would take them away from me.” “How would I feel?”

How did I feel???

It triggered the “old tapes” in me. The purpose of the question was that if we got triggered, then that was an area that needed some healing. Through that process, I realized that I had not mourned and grieved the nearly six-year relationship with my first "love" (even though I am currently very, happily married, and in a Spiritually loving relationship for 18+ years.) After I ended my first relationship, later I realized that I had entered my new relationship without properly mourning and grieving the loss of my prior relationship. It was unbeknownst to me - because I thought I had mourned it just fine. I thought I cried every tear already. Why cry more? Why? Because this needs to be healed in a new Light.

After 18 years, I am now healthfully learning to release the “old tapes” of my first relationship and bless the exprerience along its way. The inner distractor was a lesson for me to bring forth what needed to be healed next. 

I learned that I can change the “old tapes” through “guided imagery” meditation. Through guided imagery, I can go back to the point where I was hurt and change or complete the story. I can visualize the outcome I want, and be healed as a result. It is not condoning the poor behavior or wanting the person back, it is releasing the energy that was stored up, so new abundance can fill the spot of the old energy. 

At 40 years old, I am still getting a good grasp of the “old tapes” and “button-pushing” feelings, and blessing them. I know my “old tapes” have an impact on my communication with others too.

People change for the better, as do I, so when miscommunications arise and “old tapes” show up, I have a choice where I take the interaction with the other person.

I do not want to assume or perceive, the other person is acting upon their old ways; therefore, I act upon my old ways, which becomes a vicious cycle. Even if the other person is acting upon their old ways, it does not mean I have to act upon mine.

I can go back to my old ways of thinking, or I can take a deep breath, pray, surrender the outcome to Spirit, be grateful for that God-Presence to fizzle out the “old tapes” energy, and I can move forward on my purposeful journey.